This one isn’t about investing at all …

by Travis Johnson, Stock Gumshoe | October 28, 2013 2:51 pm

But this comic from xkcd captures modern online marketing really well — and some of these sound like teaser pitches I’ve seen in my email box. A nice dose of perspective when an email pitch makes you start to quiver with desire, greed or fear:


Thanks to Randall Munroe at[2] — I had a nice laugh at this one. Got a favorite historical (or current) headline you want to rewrite to get the attention of readers everywhere? Feel free to share with a comment below!

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  1. vivian lewis
    Oct 29 2013, 05:27:04 pm

    dear Mr. Hartman
    The headlines are the joke because the events are real but were never published on the internet to get clicks. 1905 was Einstein’s Theory of Relativity; 1912 was the Titanic hitting an iceberg and sinking; 1920 was votes for women resulting in, among other things, Prohibition and rules against night labor by women; 1928 the discovery of penicillin, a mold which kills bacteria, etc. Now that I have spilled the beans you can work out the others yourself. Good luck

  2. Ventureshadow
    Oct 29 2013, 07:31:02 pm

    1. These Teasers Will Restore Your Faith in Investing
    2. Thinkolator Reveals Condition of Your Underwear (if any).
    3. Stansberry Predicts The End of Canada

  3. exephil
    Oct 31 2013, 02:34:56 pm

    Bending the rules, as is customary for a limey …

    1573 (with apologies to Bob Newhart)
    new leaf imported from colonies – six things you can do with it and why they’ll never make you money

    1773 New way you too can avoid paying ANY tax! Let’s have a party!

    1789 the seven things THEY don’t want you to know and how it will make a small group of ‘FF’ very rich

    1791 the inside track on the REAL reason THEY need ten more

    And to bring it back within the rules –

    1917 – Brits in trouble, five hot defense stocks that can make you rich

    1939 – Chances like this don’t normally come twice in an investor’s lifetime …..

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