[ed note: Michael Jorrin, who I dubbed “Doc Gumshoe” years ago, is a longtime medical writer (not a doctor) who writes for us about health and medicine topics a couple times a month. He chooses his own topics, and his words and opinions are his own.]
Travis lofted a couple of these over my transom knowing that they would pique my curiosity and perhaps stir up my dander.
The unusual thing about these promotions is that they both purport to be divinely inspired. One of them puts this statement right at the very top of the spiel:
And the other one leads off like this:
I’ll confess that I get those two promotions somewhat mixed up, and I’m trying my best at this moment to keep them clearly sorted out in my noggin. The fact is that they have a certain common element that makes it easy to confuse them, but they are hyping separate treatments.
The first treatment, under the heading of “Jesus’ Lost Words” is called “The Apostles’ Protocol.”
The second treatment, following the headline about the “One Christian Doctor” revealing five verified medical miracles, is called “The Garden of Eden Protocol.”
Now do you see why I get confused?
I do not actually think that the two promotions are in any way linked or in cahoots. As you’ll see, the kinds of treatments that each one is pushing are quite different, what they want you to buy is different, and the gurus backing up their miracle treatments are different. What they have in common is that they are more or less recruiting God to vouch for their honesty and reliability. I find that quite shabby, and it ramps up my skepticism quotient by several orders of magnitude. Unfortunately, posing as a deeply religious person, whether Christian, Jewish, or any other faith, is a frequent initial ploy in the confidence game. (Remember Bernie Madoff?) We know a wise, careful person who was conned by a financial advisor who made regular reference to his deep faith and closed all his business correspondence with the phrase “Have a blessed day.” He “advised” his clients to make several palpably unwise investments on which he made sweet commissions for himself. After all, what better way to gain someone’s confidence than to convince that person that you are a deeply devout follower of that person’s faith?
The “treatments” these two promotions are hyping are quite different, even though their approaches are similar. Let’s take them one at a time.
The “Apostle’s Protocol” leads off with the background story, which is that an ancient manuscript was discovered in a cave in Egypt in 1945, and when eminent scholars got around to deciphering it, here’s what they found:
“‘These are the hidden words that the living Jesus spoke…’
“And they knew they had found something extraordinary.
“Claremont Graduate University has confirmed this scroll is one of the very earliest in Christian history, dating to just a few years after the crucifixion.
“You see, what they discovered in this ancient text is NOT in the Bible…
“Even if you’re a devoted Christian and attend church or bible study regularly, it’s likely you’ve never heard of this incredible find.
“But here’s what I found really amazing…
“As you’re about to see, these lost words from Jesus reveal a groundbreaking health protocol…
“An ‘ancient medicine’ that’s stunned the neuroscientist community…
“And a fast acting, natural remedy that researchers from Scientific American, The Alzheimer’s Research Foundation and the Wake Forest University School of Medicine confirm has the potential to begin reversing some of the worse symptoms of Alzheimer’s… In as little as FOUR days.”
Then we get the short, astounding case histories, about Julie, age 49, who went from suicidal thoughts about her Alzheimer’s disease (AD) to complete memory transformation, and Mary, age 56, whose failing memory was cured in just two months, and Kirsten B. and John D., who experience