This particular ad hasn’t actually been completely lambasting my inbox this week, which is a surprise since the “cure for obesity” stocks usually gin up quite a bit of interest — being overweight is, after all, the plague of our time of overabundance and the cause of so many of our ills, both social and medical.
Not that I’m immune, I’m afraid — love of beef, beer, scotch and ice cream have enriched my life but have also kept my middle from shrinking, though I’ve pretty much accepted that I can’t give up eating or drinking to a major degree so I’ll just have to exercise more. So if you see a fat guy biking up the Berkshire foothills in neon-colored lycra, please be kind and don’t run him over or mock his squishy butt. It could be your friendly neighborhood Gumshoe.
But anyway, this ad ran pretty heavily at the end of last week, and it’s from the folks at Agora Financial so I can almost guarantee we’ll see it again — and, more interestingly if you’re obsessed with the newsletter world as I am, this is the first ad I’ve seen for the Breakthrough Technology Alert that completely fails to mention the name Patrick Cox. Now the merry leader of that newsletter is Ray Blanco, who cut his teeth running the lower-priced Technology Profits Confidential. It’s hard to imagine that Cox retired, since I assume he’s going to need plenty of cash if he’s going to live forever (inside joke — he has come close to promising immortality with some of his teaser picks in the past, including this stem cell one from earlier in the year), so I presume that he either got fired or will resurface in the months to come with some new publisher, we’ll see.
The promise from Ray Blanco this time is that there’s a company working in nano-medicine that’s about to solve the problem of obesity — which will, of course, make us rich. So what’s the stock he’s touting?
Well, it’s a Looooooooong ad (if I printed it out, it would cover 64 pages), so I’ll try to summarize a few points for you and share a few of the key clues from the pitch. Here’s the intro that gets us all hot and bothered:
“Time’s run out for companies profiting from our national obsession with losing weight and our failure to keep it off!
“In Fat People We Do Trust!”
“But that scam is about to meet its end at the hands of a 21st Century Pierre and Marie Currie.
“For they’re succeeding at doing what no other company can:
“KEEPING ITS PROMISE to help anyone lose weightpermanently, safely and quickly!
“Investors who ACT BEFORE rumors come true that their company will soon be bought by a BIG PHARMA company could make 4X… 6X… even 10X their money practically overnight!”
So — breakthrough scientific innovators who are going to solve a major problem and get a huge