The last time we looked at a teaser from Brad Hoppmann for Cash Flow Kings, it was because they had me in a tizzy about the death of the coffee crop — we depend on teasers and fabulous readers to keep Stock Gumshoe going, but in many ways the true fuel of my manic writing schedule is coffee. So I was worried.
That was only a few months ago, and the stock he pitched (though in no ways a pure play on coffee bean protection) has done decently well (the stock was Syngenta, SYT, it’s up a few percent more than the S&P since mid-December).
And today, instead of making me worry about something I genuflect before, the glorious Coffea arabica, he’s trotting out the shopworn notion that the secrets to investing are hidden in the Bible. Here’s the intro:
“Discovered within the first book of the Holy Bible …
“The power to grow and protect your wealth while serving the greater good of mankind….
“Five years ago I found myself driving down a lifeless country road in the middle of the night. What seemed like my normal commute home from work would soon turn into one of the most important nights of my life.
“That evening I witnessed something that not only altered the course I was on personally, but something that has the potential to affect your life in very real ways, too.
“It was a glowing light that changed everything I thought I knew about the universe, about God, and about man’s work here on earth.
“It revealed to me a great gift — a way to grow wealthy while helping our fellow man in the process.”
So yes, it sounds like the start of a tent revival… and he also goes on to appeal to the socially conscious investors among us…
“And most importantly, it showed me that there ARE ways to invest ethically and responsibly … in essence, that it IS possible to do well while doing good.
“In fact, I now believe it is our moral obligation to use our great gifts to enrich the world around us … and to gladly receive back the rewards for doing so. Hopefully, after you hear my story, you’ll agree.”
Geez, who wouldn’t agree to that? Where do I sign up!
Oh, wait, he’s selling something. OK, we’ll go back to being cynical and suspicious. He’s pitching subscriptions to his Cash Flow Kings newsletter, which, like most “entry level” subscriptions, is not terribly expensive (it’s $49 a year, just like membership in the Stock Gumshoe Irregulars). Pretty much every publisher offers some kind of paid letter in this price range, and those subscribers become their very best prospects for “upgrade” offers to different levels of membership or more expensive letters and services (once you’ve paid $49, you’ve gotten past the biggest hurdle publishers face — “I won’t ever pay anything for research” — and you’re FAR more likely to bite on an offer for the $2,000 letter that really drives publisher profits… particularly if you’re basking in the glow of a few good suggestions made by the inexpensive letter).
But back to the point — Hoppmann is actually teasing a stock or two in this ad that he thinks are exciting investments… so let’s get to that part, and see if we can find out what they are for you,
He furthers this religious (or maybe “close encounters-ish”) idea for several paragraphs, describing how he followed a “glow” in rural Florida …
“I drove as close to it as I could until I hit the end of the road. Against my better judgment, I got out of the car and made my way up a steep hill to get a better look. When I reached the top, a large barbed wire fence prevented me from moving any closer.
“With my face pressed against the cold fence, I stood there for over half an hour without moving. I was enraptured by that light, almost in a state of shock….
“… what I stumbled upon that late summer evening changed my life forever and I believe it will change yours too … whether it be finally eliminating decades of debt, putting your children through college, or living the retirement you deserve.
“All you have to do is let me share with you what I saw in that glow.
“Revealed to me was …Are you getting our free Daily Update
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