There are two great things about being a marketing copywriter — first, if you put it in quotes, you can say almost anything … and second, there are already a thousand successful ideas out there, you don’t need to come up with a new one each time you’re looking for an angle.
This time we’re looking at an ad for Zachary Scheidt’s Taipan-published New Growth Investor — and the claim is that we can “pirate” (always in quotes) cash from the same companies that lost us so much money during the stock market’s collapse.
Here’s what Zachary says:
“Unfortunately, if you’re like the majority of Americans, you were likely sitting around, losing money, while these fat cat execs were running rampant… spending millions of dollars irresponsibly.
“But that didn’t have to be the case…
“Especially when an obscure SEC regulation allows you to legally “pirate” some of these recklessly spent millions for yourself.
“Take AIG, for instance. Last year, top execs doled out $440,000 for a top-notch retreat to the St. Regis resort in California and tossed down $86,000 for a hunting trip in England… all the while standing in line for $85 billion worth of government bailout cash.
“That’s why Frank Lighton had absolutely no problem ‘pirating’ $53,700 from the public account of AIG (#1419777000) once he found out he had the legal right to do so.”
Does that sound a little bit familiar? I don’t know if this Taipan letter uses the same copywriters as Stansberry & Associates (they’re both Agora affiliates), but the letter is very similar to one that we looked at a couple times … if you’ve been around for a while, you might remember that we were teased about secret code “CKUCU” and urged to say “Screw You” to Ken Lewis and a whole list of other nefarious cash-hog CEOs (ie, “Richard Fairbanks is a Jerk”).
That ad (one of my writeups of it is here if you’re interested) was all about how you could “scam” (also always in quotes) the corporate accounts of these fat cats to put some cash back in your wallet.
This ad is not about “scamming” the CEOs, but about “Pirating” their corporate accounts. To tell you the truth, though, the pitch behind the verbiage sounds like it’s pretty much the same thing.
Here are a few clues as to what he’s talking about:
“You see, there’s a little-known clause buried deep in Section 77F of the SEC code… and it gives you the legal right to plunder cash from any one of 3,000 corporate accounts.”
Huh? I think they forgot the quotes on that “plunder” bit — you can read that section of the US Code if you’d like to (it’s title 15, section 77f — a copy is here if you’re interested), but of course it doesn’t say that you can plunder anything. “Plunder” with quotes? Maybe. That part of the code details the fees and procedures for registering securities.
But there’s one other little clue in that sentence — “3,000.” That’s a number that’s frequently thrown around to refer to the number of publicly traded stocks that are “optionable,” or that have options contracts available (meaning, you can buy or sell call or put options through an exchange).
Now, the “scamming” cash teaser was all about selling covered call options, and it looks like this one is more or less the same thing — implying that selling away the potential upside of a stock’s movement to another investor is akin to “pirating” money from the company (absurd on its face, but it has a certain logic if you don’t think about the details). It’s possible Scheidt is talking about other things too, though, so let’s look a bit more at the tease.
“… just a couple years ago, Lee Raymond, the former CEO of Exxon, walked away with one of the richest retirement packages in history… worth nearly $400 million.
“And this doesn’t include the cool $51.1 million Raymond earned in salary in 2005… or the $3.6 million he earned in bonuses the year before.
“In other words, while the American public was scalped at the gas pumps over the past few years, Lee Raymond was making more money than is humanly possible to spend in a lifetime.
“And that’s why, when a small group of people had the chance to “pirate” huge chunks of cash from Exxon in 2008… they didn’t hesitate for even a second….
“And I’ll bet it felt great.
“But windows of opportunity like these don’t stay open forever…Are you getting our free Daily Update
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“As I mentioned, to take advantage of the six booty-stuffed accounts I’m about to reveal to you… you must get in on or before June 22, 2009, to “pirate” $109,122 for yourself.”
So … some more good CEO bashing in there (not that they don’t often deserve it, but it has little to do with the trading Scheidt seems to be referring to). And then he gets into a few more clues about the process for “pirating” your cash:
“When you “pirate” cash from a public corporate account… it’s possible you may receive your cash in as little as a single day. Sometimes it may take a little longer.
“On March 12, 2009, the window for “pirating” cash from account #2344870 (ticker symbol LO) was wide open.
“Those few investors who took notice were able to get their claims in…
“Among those who “pirated” windfall amounts of money was Don Niedenfuer.
“After toiling away for several years in mark