Unclaimed fortunes, locked inside “Gulf Coast Vaults”

By Travis Johnson, Stock Gumshoe, June 23, 2009

Here’s the lead to this latest ad:

“$21,750* of YOUR Money Is Locked Inside the ‘Gulf Coast Vaults’

“So are the unclaimed fortunes of thousands of other Americans. But only the first 1,000 people who respond to this letter will get the FREE mandatory access code required to claim their cash. Secure your share below or risk losing it completely.

“*This is an average amount; yours could be larger.”

And if anything gets your friendly neighborhood Stock Gumshoe going in the morning, it’s a good ‘ol made up term — so “Gulf Coast Vaults” really caught my attention.

The ad is for Taipan’s Safe Haven Investor, which used to be run by Ann Sosnowski but is now helmed by Justice Litle, who seems to have a lot of hats on at the moment. The newsletter has not been kindly reviewed thus far, but that’s based on an extremely small sample (have you subscribed? Check out the reviews or add your own here).

So what are these “Gulf Coast Vaults?” And is there really an “unclaimed fortune” out there, just waiting for you?

If you’ve read this far, you probably already know the answer to that one … but maybe there’s a profitable investing idea in there somewhere. Let’s check, shall we?

Here’s some more of the sales pitch — and let me warn you first, it does get the drool glands going a bit:

“As many as 200,000 people could be reading this letter right now…

“But only the first 1,000 to respond will be granted the FREE access code needed to collect the money that’s waiting for them inside the ‘Gulf Coast Vaults.’

“I’m talking about money that’s already owed to them. Money that should be sitting in their bank accounts collecting interest. Or paying off mortgages and credit card bills. Or maybe even buying a new car or Caribbean vacation.”

So not only is it unclaimed money — but it’s exclusive, and you’ll be able to pay off your bills, and this money is already owed to you anyway? Man, who could resist that?

Aside from the skeptical Gumshoe reader, of course.

“These payouts come directly from what some experts call the ‘Gulf Coast Vaults’ — underground chambers overflowing with your hard-earned money.

“The president intends for these remote “Vaults” be emptied out, down to the very last penny. He believes it’s a vital part of our floundering economy’s recovery.”

Wow — so what are these vaults that are apparently filled to the brim with easy money?

“According to Bloomberg, the draining of these ‘Vaults’ could result in a ‘slingshot effect’ for your money: Sending your bottom line soaring at a fast and furious clip.

“This ‘slingshot effect’ enabled William B. of Lexington, KY, to receive a payout of $18,591 the last time the ‘Gulf Coast Vaults’ were emptied out…”

Well, my bottom line is more spreading than soaring, but I hope to make it to the gym later today. This still doesn’t make much sense, does it? We’ll keep reading.

“Once Barack Obama made the decision to declare war on the coal and oil industries of America, he needed an immediate bridge between the energy industry of today and the ‘clean energy’ industry of tomorrow.

“And the foundation of that bridge sits squarely inside the ‘Gulf Coast Vaults.’

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