Today’s ad for our sleuthing pleasure comes in from Andrew Snyder of TodaysFinancialNews.com (TFN) — he works on Hot Stock Confidential from TFN, but today he’s trying to sell us a new service called TFN Strategic Trader, which seems to be a weekly options alert service that will cost you about $1,300 a year.
And as the heart of the ad, he’s teasing us that he’ll tell us about a favorite investment … as soon as we sign up for his service. Thankfully, he lays it on nice and thick with hints and hyperbole, so let’s dig in and see if we can identify the company for a fair bit less than $1,300 (we’ll start with “free.”)
“When this tiny firm proves its ‘Genetic Switching’ technology, the average investor could see gains of 300%.
“But make the right moves by May 15 and your investment could surge by over 1,100%!
“By May 15, 2009, investors will see positively filthy gains of 50%… 125%… maybe even 300%, thanks to one company’s discovery of a very powerful “genetic switching” secret.
“The average investor could be pushing wheelbarrows of cash to the bank.”
You had me at “filthy gains” — didn’t even need to pull out the image of “wheelbarrows of cash,” but still, I love a good wheelbarrow as much as anyone.
So what, specifically, is this company?
“As you read this, there’s a tiny $5 company working on a revolutionary new “genetic switching” technology. If its initial tests are positive—and early indications point at a runaway success!—your $5 investment could soar to $8, $14, or even $25.
“This company’s revolutionary technology was voted one of the top innovations for 2008 by Scientists magazine and Wired.com.
“The company could be just months away from developing a cure for AIDS, cancer, sickle cell anemia, and Lou Gehrig’s disease. Absolutely amazing stuff!
“… this tiny $5 company has literally found a way to turn genes on and off!”
And he says of the researchers who made the key discoveries:
“Their discovery has turned their employer into one of the most powerful companies—if not the most powerful company—in the world.”
Now that, my friends, is some good hyperbole — how can you resist investing in the most powerful company in the world? Especially if it’s valued at just $195 million and you can buy it for five bucks a share?
And of course, the urgency — otherwise, why would you rush to subscriberightnow!
“The opportunity will absolutely, irrevocably disappear on May 15. Gone forever at the market close. ”
That’s by using the “power of leverage” — a point he makes, somewhat frighteningly, by talking about being a wilderness guide in Alaska and carrying a shotgun for “leverage” over grizzly bears.
There’s even a photo of Andrew toting his gun … which means I may have to consider a new rule. Included in my ten standard rules for teaser ads have been admonitions that we should be extra careful of ads where the adviser brags about his luxury car, or shows photos of his car or his mansion. There might have to be a special rule for those who show photos of themselves holding weapons, we’ll see if it becomes a trend.
OK, so this is all